i've been reading some of my really old d-land entries tonight, and they make me laugh, not cause im funny but cause im such an idiot*. i think thats why i like to keep such an extensive written history of myself, the "wow, i can't believe i was so dumb" factor is very amusing. its just kinda cool to look back on things and even though some of the entries are kinda vuage and pointless i can still remember the details of everything that was going on. its funny to see how much i've changed....and how much is terribly the same of course. so i guess they're really only funny to me...

it's kinda sad though how im already kidna feeling nostalgic of highschool. I mean, dont get me wrong... highschool as a whole was pretty damn lame and college is 100x cooler. and i know my memory of things gets more selective as time passes, but there are some things i miss about it. maybe not highschool really, but just that period of time. i miss having people just showing up at my house randomly to hang out. i miss taking rides long rides in cars with my friends. i miss having lunch on the boardwalk on sunny days when we're surrounded by people. (or even those days when us hard-core lunchers toughed it out and ate outide in the rain and snow.) i miss that sort of mini social bubble. college is kinda a bubble too, but in a different way... i miss hanging out at chip's house, even though i always felt awkward at those parties. (i really dont do well in gatherings)

i guess i sorta miss my quantity of aquaintances and friends. i mean, it took like 18 years to "collect" that many so i mean i understand starting from scratch is different. and i think it was also a fair trade off, cause now i get a couple "high quality" friends. (top of the line, really. complete with 6-disk changers.) and i get to live with them.

im very excited for The Apartment, but also kinda worried. i guess i just fear a major falling out or something. or im afraid im going to go bitchy or become totall reclusive and anti social. which happens when i get too comfortable around people or see people on a fairly regular basis. (which might explain why its hard for me to keep friends very long...) i mean, im sure it will be fine, but i think it's a pretty reasonable thing to worry about.

*for instance:
-seriously trying to limit my prolific writing so i would hit exactly 100 entries on my journal's 6-month aniversary (which failed)
-scoring a 97% on a "how well do you know jayne" quiz, which i made myself.
-and lots of other dumb things.


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