i decided i should just start writing A LOT before going to bed again. it's been really hard for me to fall asleep here and i don't know why. it's not like ive got any major life issues to be mulling over or anything, but i can't seem to turn off my head head at night lately. i think i tossed and turned in bed a good 2 hours or so before i got so frusrated i just got out of bed to clean and read because i had to do something. so i think maybe if i just write lots i wont have much to mull over. plus after reading my old entries i feel like writing in my sort of longwinded pointless style again. ( i guess ive never really stopped that, but its different. at least i can tell)

I have semi-mixed feelings about liking to write so much. i mean, for the most part i know it's actually pretty good for me. and i do really like typing. but it also seems so... self indulgent? not sure if thats the word im looking for. but in any case i kinda feel like i shouldn't be this addicted to it still. it seems kinda childish. but on the other hand it's so a part of my life that i don't know what to do without it any more. i suppose there are plenty of other things i could be addicted to, most of which would probably be much worse anyways. so i dont think i really need to be worrying about a writing addiction. i also feel like i should be doing other, more productive, things with my time. but when i think about it compared to the typical alternatves this doesn't seem so bad....


ive had this window open for the past hour fully intending to continue writing. but ive keep getting distracted. im still reading though some old entries.. so i think i give on on this post. im just going to read tonight....


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