lazy line painter jayne

harness the unexpected.

For the past couple of days I've been trying to explain to Peter why I'm not crazy.

Well, maybe more like ever since I met him. but this is one of the many more specific i'm-not-crazy arguments. All starting from when I told him that if I really expect something to happen it's almost guaranteed that it won't. Apparently that's crazy cause he says nothing is totally unpredictable and not being able to count on anything is depressing. But I think that's even crazier. Or at least a whole lot less interesting. I think if your life is that predictable something is wrong (see Pleasantville). It's the unexpected stuff that's the most fun.

It's hard to explain the expecting-never-happening relationship though. It's just something I've sort of always thought about since I was little because it seems like that's how everything in my life happens. Sometimes I'd try to harness the power of the unexpected...theory. Like, knowing that if I imagine something it won't happen , I would imagine all sorts of horrible things happening me as a sort of insurance against bad stuff happening. I know it's weird.

Some people might say that if I always expect things to not happen like I expect, then that could be an expectation that always works. But that's not how it works, cause you can't really expect something to both happen and not happen at the same time. I mean, I can use my mad logical skills to figure out what seems to be the most likely to happen and I guess you could say something may or may not happen. But even when I do that there's always some weird other version of events that comes in out of no where and that I never would have imagined that ends up happening.

What makes things even more complicated is when you add The Wish Factor. Along with everything being unpredictable I seem to have a pretty high getting-what-I-wished-for score, which doesn't seem to make sense. But of course when ever I wish for things I realize how absurd my wish is and never expect it to come true. And when it does, it's never like anything I had imagined. It's like in those movies where someone gets a genie and they make a vuage wish and forgot to specify the details so their wish ends up sucking. although I suppose mine don't always end up sucking, they just always end up like nothing I ever would have imagined.

I'd list some examples, but this is getting to long. So, maybe later. But i suppose my point is life is random which is why I hate making plans.

currently listening to: Manu Chao

posted by jayne @ 8:05 PM