is one of my new favorite Swedish words. It's right up there with slut ("the end"). Lagom means something like the middle path or like just the right amount or something along those lines. I learned it from Utne, which has just made it on my top 5* fav mags. Magazines are just so educational.

Durring our vcd "work session" it occurred to us that we were basicly spending the class time doodling (or "sketching ideas"). We also decided the EPA is like the Gap of the government agencies.

It's also occurred to me that I'm not really interested in fine arts. I mean, it's fun to play with, but I was looking at the other available BFA programs here today (for like, The Plan B) and I really don't think I'd actually be able to do any of them. I was thinking about the painting/drawing program but the adviser said she thinks I already have too many credits. I also don't think I even LIKE painting all that much anyways. I also started thinking about how useless art was starting to seem to me, which is kinda depressing and like total art cult blasphemy. I mean, I know it's not REALLY useless cause it makes for a more interesting life and all that stuff...

But sometimes it just feels really pointless and wasteful. Just thinking about going to an art school**, after whatever happens here, makes me feel so like privledged or elitist or somthing. Part of me doesn't like being well off. Probably because I don't feel like I've really done anything to earn it, and will probably never be able to. Sometimes I really feel like I should have to work hard for something, because surely it can't be this easy. (It makes me wonder if that's actually the appeal of VCD, the fact that I have to actually work at it. Cause even though design is more "useful" than fine art, in the over all scheme of things, it's really not that vital.)

I know having it too easy is a strange thing to be worried about. But it just always bothers me, especially when art stuff comes into the picture cause it seems like such a selfish and self-indulgent...thing. I want to do more than draw pretty pictures and make things look dynamic. I'd like to be more useful. Like, or first project is to re-design the EPA logo. But if I really had the choice I'd much rather be one of the people in the EPA (if i was actually any good with that sort of stuff). Dunno. Man. It's only the first week and I've already got doubts.

*Giant Robot, Jane, ReadyMade, Utne, and.. I swore i had another one. I guess i don't read magazines very often anymore.
**Maybe for animation? I dont know. Looking at Vancouver Film School, California Institute of Art, California College of Art... I obviously I don't want to leave the west coast yet.


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