i decided i should just start writing A LOT before going to bed again. it's been really hard for me to fall asleep here and i don't know why. it's not like ive got any major life issues to be mulling over or anything, but i can't seem to turn off my head head at night lately. i think i tossed and turned in bed a good 2 hours or so before i got so frusrated i just got out of bed to clean and read because i had to do something. so i think maybe if i just write lots i wont have much to mull over. plus after reading my old entries i feel like writing in my sort of longwinded pointless style again. ( i guess ive never really stopped that, but its different. at least i can tell)

I have semi-mixed feelings about liking to write so much. i mean, for the most part i know it's actually pretty good for me. and i do really like typing. but it also seems so... self indulgent? not sure if thats the word im looking for. but in any case i kinda feel like i shouldn't be this addicted to it still. it seems kinda childish. but on the other hand it's so a part of my life that i don't know what to do without it any more. i suppose there are plenty of other things i could be addicted to, most of which would probably be much worse anyways. so i dont think i really need to be worrying about a writing addiction. i also feel like i should be doing other, more productive, things with my time. but when i think about it compared to the typical alternatves this doesn't seem so bad....


ive had this window open for the past hour fully intending to continue writing. but ive keep getting distracted. im still reading though some old entries.. so i think i give on on this post. im just going to read tonight....



i've been reading some of my really old d-land entries tonight, and they make me laugh, not cause im funny but cause im such an idiot*. i think thats why i like to keep such an extensive written history of myself, the "wow, i can't believe i was so dumb" factor is very amusing. its just kinda cool to look back on things and even though some of the entries are kinda vuage and pointless i can still remember the details of everything that was going on. its funny to see how much i've changed....and how much is terribly the same of course. so i guess they're really only funny to me...

it's kinda sad though how im already kidna feeling nostalgic of highschool. I mean, dont get me wrong... highschool as a whole was pretty damn lame and college is 100x cooler. and i know my memory of things gets more selective as time passes, but there are some things i miss about it. maybe not highschool really, but just that period of time. i miss having people just showing up at my house randomly to hang out. i miss taking rides long rides in cars with my friends. i miss having lunch on the boardwalk on sunny days when we're surrounded by people. (or even those days when us hard-core lunchers toughed it out and ate outide in the rain and snow.) i miss that sort of mini social bubble. college is kinda a bubble too, but in a different way... i miss hanging out at chip's house, even though i always felt awkward at those parties. (i really dont do well in gatherings)

i guess i sorta miss my quantity of aquaintances and friends. i mean, it took like 18 years to "collect" that many so i mean i understand starting from scratch is different. and i think it was also a fair trade off, cause now i get a couple "high quality" friends. (top of the line, really. complete with 6-disk changers.) and i get to live with them.

im very excited for The Apartment, but also kinda worried. i guess i just fear a major falling out or something. or im afraid im going to go bitchy or become totall reclusive and anti social. which happens when i get too comfortable around people or see people on a fairly regular basis. (which might explain why its hard for me to keep friends very long...) i mean, im sure it will be fine, but i think it's a pretty reasonable thing to worry about.

*for instance:
-seriously trying to limit my prolific writing so i would hit exactly 100 entries on my journal's 6-month aniversary (which failed)
-scoring a 97% on a "how well do you know jayne" quiz, which i made myself.
-and lots of other dumb things.

past and present

past and present
Originally uploaded by zephyrbunny.
i got camera happy today and took lots of pics. and messed with some of them on photoshop. i think this is my favorite out of the bunch cause it kinda scares me. baby-jayne looks almost like a posessed doll after "adult"-jayne. i know many people who are anti-filters but i don't think it turned out too cheesy...


me ~ sitting on some concrete

me ~ sitting on some concrete
Originally uploaded by striatic.
this obviously isn't ME. but i think it's a really cool pic. and makes me kinda chuckle. reminds me of Rene Magritte, who i did a paper on, so i thought i'd share. and try out this flicker bloging thing. I am totally in love with this flicker thing. its SO all ive ever wanted in photo hosts yet so much more. i know im a nerd, but it really is awesome... so simple yet flexible.

so very sexy/geeky

okay, i think blogger has won me over. ive finally found a happy middle ground between d-land's customizablity and xanga's simplicity. im really stupid for avoiding it for so long because it was too "mainstream" or something like that. i'm such a loser for even caring. it's not like it matters anyways.. but i guess, being as prolific as i am, i might as well find something easy i actually like and i think this is very nice. i can even have different blogs with different layouts and i can even make seperae top secret blogs, all under one name! oh how very sexy. yes i am a total geek. but i don't care. im happy.

trying new things

im trying out blogger because im tired of spending time on layouts that dont work and suck for d-land. and xanga is still too rigid for me. i know it doesn't really matter at all, but whatever.

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