This week's programming hw figured out personality types based on answers to some questions. Apparently I'm an INFP.

"One word that captures this type is idealistic....They may demonstrate a tendency to take deliberate liberties with logic. Unlike the NT, they see logic as something optional....They may find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. At times, in fact, INFPs may seem fearful of exuberant attainment, afraid that current advances may have to be paid for with later sacrifices.* The devil is sure to get his due if the INFP experiences too freely of success, or beauty, or health, or wealth, or knowledge. And thus, INFPs guard against giving way to relaxing in the happiness of mating. They may have difficulty in expressing affection directly, but communicate interest and affection indirectly.... The INFP questor probably has more problems in mating than any other type. Let us be mindful of the relative infrequency: about 1 1/4 percent, say two and a half million people in the USA.**

I think it would be interesting to see the overall results of the test coupled with everyone's astrological sign, just out of curiosity.

I seem to be in good company:

Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)
Bastian (The Neverending Story)
E.T.: the ExtraTerrestrial
Doug Funny, Doug cartoons
Tommy, Rug Rats cartoons
Rocko, Rocko's Modern Life cartoons

* That is SO a top 5 fear of mine... Good to know I'm not the only crazy person that thinks this.
** Maybe this is why it's so hard to find people I can relate to.

currently listening to: Annie


The animation show was so fantastic. They were all so impressive and made me go "what the fuck am I doing here?" THAT is what I really want to be doing. Not designing lame posters for an imaginary literacy conference where I'm not allowed to be "cartoony." I mean, yeah it's kinda interesting, and better than the available alternatives here... but a good part of me feels like I really don't belong here though I have no idea where I really do belong. Not sure there even is such a magical dream place where I'd feel at home. Perhaps certain parts of California? I wonder why people seem to associate Cali with so much opportunity and stuff. Left over gold rush-esqe mindset? Dunno. I'd up and leave but I just can't. I'm always leaving cause I'm a quitter, so I feel like I should try sticking to something for a while. Also cause I know changing scenery never really changes anything, even though I always like to think it does.

one week for sculpture.
two and a half more weeks till Judgment Day.

currently listening to: Barenaked Ladies


name game?

so, i totally swiped this "game" from Zach . But it looked like so much fun! so here it goes, my [incredibly long] name with a favorite band for each letter. like those lame poems they use to make us write in elementary school, except cooler.

Ysaye Quartet*
New Pornographers
Everything But The Girl

Arcade Fire
Iron & Wine
No Doubt

Venus Hum
Halstead, Neil
Erlend Øye
Elliott Smith
Hot Hot Heat
Apples in Stereo
Red Hot Chili Peppers
New Radicals

Okay, that was harder than it should have been. Such uneven distribution of letters! Boo.
* I don't have many Y's. and I only have one song by this group on the Royal Tenenbaums Soundtrack, but I like it.
** There are too many good "D" bands. Daft Punk, Dido, Doves, Delgados, Depeche Mode...
*** Kinda sad... but the playcount doesn't lie..

currently listening to: New Radicals (it's SO middle school! man, that was forever ago.)


I think I finally recentered my self or something. Probably has to do with the fact that I've slept and taken time out of the past few days to just chill out. reading the paper during lunch. reading adbusters (apparently we get a complimentary copy) at work during down times, reading the Utne, just sitting in the lounge listening to music. so yeah, I can actually stay focused on stuff now.

6 hours for sculpture yesterday. (I think I'm making decent progress, all the individual pieces are done. just gotta put them all together.) started (and finished!) the programming homework today, without getting pissed off. and so tomorrow I can spend focusing on my poster for design. and possibly going to see the animation show at some point cause it's one of the few things I'm really interested in seeing. yay for animation!

and hummus! I forgot how much I love hummus.

been thinking about trying an audiobook lately because I like stories and stuff. But I can never seem to find time when I don't need my hands and eyes for doing other things. They seem like such a lazy way to "read" but that sort of increases the appeal. I mean, if I spent like half the time that I spend listening to music(which is a lot) to listen to a book, imagine how much "reading" i could do! And then I can talk to people about books like I've read them and feel smart and cultured without having to do any work! = ) this is a fantastic idea.

hmm. these posts are getting pretty dull. whatever.

currently listening to: Kruder & Dorfmeister (which is one of the coolest names ever)


be like the squirrel, girl. give it a whirl, girl.

I think i really need a good break. I feel like I've just been super stressed out about everything lately which is weird cause I'm usually pretty mellow. Maybe my body isn't use to the stress cause I think I'm getting sick or something. I hate taking medicine but I've taken painkillers just about every day this week. And I had an unexplainable breakdown after class today. I don't even know why. Probably a mix of lack of sleep (<4 hours last night), frustration, physical exhaustion, ennui, and all that good stuff. It's just been a really draining couple of days I guess.

but, good things:

-this Barenaked Ladies album is suprisingly nice. I've always thought that they were just sorta okay cause I had only heard the radio songs and was always kinda skeptical about them for some reason. I was like that with Dido for a while, till I actually got her cd and fell in love with her. But yeah, nice.

-Five Songs makes me loves the Decemberists even more. The lyrics are just so great. Each song is so like a little story that I never get tired of listening to. Even when they're just about things like a stolen bicycle named Madeline.

-Today was my registration day and I was up at like 6 am anyways. It's nice when having to wake up early for different things happen at the same time cause at least i don't have to get up early later. As of now, I'm signed up for South East Asian Civilization, Social Problems, and Comparative Politics. I'm really hoping that I'll have to drop the last two. And replace them with the next 2 VCD classes. especially cause I'm not really that excited for the poly-sci class. it's more like, "eh, i don't know much about world governments. maybe i should just to be more well rounded." Social problems was more like a consolation prize cause Murder (soc) and Death (antro) are both full. Hm. I sound so morbid. and I've given up on getting into a communications class. They fill like...um.. something that fills up really fast. My bladder after I have a mocha? I dunno.

-I'm going to bed early tonight.

currently listening to: The Decemberists


mmmm. drugs & music.

I think I'm just going to have to give up on it. Been taking pain killers to get rid of the killer headaches, so I'm feeling fine now. plus! I got some music (bringing my total to a mere 29.9 gigs) from work today:

The Arcade Fire (Funeral) , Bjork (Homogenic), The Decemberists (Five Songs), Elliott Smith ( From a Basement on the Hill), Green Day ( American Idiot ), Incubus ( A crow left of the murder ), The Kinks ( Village Green Preservation Society), Lamb (s/t), and Pete Yorn (Music for the Morning After).

So i should be set for a while, especially since I still haven't really exhaused all the stuff from zach.

Oh, I totally forgot to mention we went to Lazer Zepplin a few nights ago, which was pretty cool. Lazer shows are trippy and weird, though prolly more so when we went to the Pink Floyd one.

Ok. I need to not look at a computer for a long while.

currently listening to: The Arcade Fire


an open letter

Dear Assignment #6

I hate you with a passion of a 1000 suns. You've ruined my whole fucking weekend. I shouldn't care this much about you, as you are a mere 20 points of my life. And in the whole scheme of things, you're not really all that important. But constantly getting stuck and progressing at the speed of a snail pisses the hell out of me and makes me feel like a dumb ass cause I'm sure it's not that difficult. I would give up on you but I know if I can't figure this out I'll be officially screwed for the rest of the quarter. Fuck you for making me angry, irritable, and depressed all weekend. Fuck you for making me spend hours of this beautiful beautiful weekend in front of a goddamn computer just banging my head on the fucking table. I don't need this shit. You're not worth the trouble. I'm gonna go draw damn it.

anti-heart: jayne

currently listening to: Tegan and Sara


jayne smash

I'm having the most frustrating saturday ever. All I've managed to do today is suck at everything. The CSE homework is driving me crazy cause I know what I want it to do. I just cant seem to get it together. Like I've got all the parts and directions but I don't have the glue or something. It's annoying and I end up just getting really really angry.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it's the second half of the quarter and my motivation has gone down and an anti-learning wall has gone up or something. And I've pretty much lost interest in it. I'm having the same issue in sculpture. I've got all my pieces cut and ready to go. I know what I want to do. But I can't get it all together till I stop sucking at welding. And i should really be focusing on my last vcd project. not all this other shit that doesn't really matter.

It's spoiling my precious 3 day weekend. I want to go to the Hot Hot Heat show monday but the way things are going so far, I don't think I can make it. Sometimes I wish I could just put everything else on pause. But I also can't wait till this quarter is over. Though it's occured to me recently that I may be a sort of workaholic or something. not really work work. but just doing things. Peut-être je suis une "faireaholic".

Geez. it's already like almost 11. erg. I need to destroy something.

currently listening to: Igby Goes Down soundtrack


omg. The gender bender contest was so fantastic (and free!). i mean, it was cool last year, but this year was just SO GREAT! Really hot boys. Sexy sexy girls. Fun music. Psudo-onstage-hot-man-sex. and DANCING! At the end of the show the lights were down they gave everyone glow sticks, turned on some good music and EVERYONE just got up and danced. It was like in the movies where everyone break out into spontaneous singing and dancing. And then Riley and I danced our way home came home and threw our own little glowstick dance party. Glowsticks are SO AMAZING! I don't think I ever really had one before. But they're just SO bright! I don't understand how they work, but they're fabulous. I love dancing like an idiot.

currently listening to: Play that funky music, white boy!


that's the spot.

Audiogasm: my new word for that concentrated wave of happy you get while listening to a really fabulous song. Especially a song with a big build up. For instance, Frou Frou's "Let Go." Daft Punk's "Harder Better Faster Stronger." Dondolo's "Peng." Oh, and the Erlend Øye song I was listening to when I made up the word. I'm trying to think of other songs, but I can't off the top of my head.... (Apparently Audiogasm is also the name of some band in England, but I didn't know that till after I made it up.)

Citrusgasm: That cool tingly feeling I get when I bite into the first wedge of an orange (actually, more so for Clementines and Satsumas). I think it's cause there's the whole peeling it slowly and building up anticipation. I love my oranges.... mmmmmm... Man. I want an orange so bad.

Chocogasm: Only when I'm really in the mood for chocolate, which is kinda rare. But when I am it's fantastic. and reminds me of Down With Love.

Music. Oranges. Chocolate. 3 very easy ways to Jayne's heart.

currently listening to: Daft Punk


Audioscrobbler says I'm 22-Pistepirkko's #1 fan, which makes me feel kinda special and fuzzy inside. yeah, i'm a dork.

currently listening to: Erlend Oye (if i knew how to make an O with a slash through it I would)



Today a kid in my sculpture class said I LOOKED like a VCD kid. I asked him why and he was like, VCD kids are more clean cut. And they usually have cool glasses. I thought it was kinda funny cause most of them are. I mean, yeah I love my glasses... but clean cut? I don't think anyone's ever associated me with being clean cut, though I think I'm sort of turning more and more into that. How scary...

I'm really excited for our final design project. We're doing a two 18x24 posters for an imaginary literacy conference. And we can basicly do whatever we want with them. We even get to make up our own title and theme and all. So much freedom it blows my mind.

exactly one month till Judgement Day...and the end of the quarter. damn this is going fast.

currently listening to: Zach's mix. ( such fabulous musical taste )


harness the unexpected.

For the past couple of days I've been trying to explain to Peter why I'm not crazy.

Well, maybe more like ever since I met him. but this is one of the many more specific i'm-not-crazy arguments. All starting from when I told him that if I really expect something to happen it's almost guaranteed that it won't. Apparently that's crazy cause he says nothing is totally unpredictable and not being able to count on anything is depressing. But I think that's even crazier. Or at least a whole lot less interesting. I think if your life is that predictable something is wrong (see Pleasantville). It's the unexpected stuff that's the most fun.

It's hard to explain the expecting-never-happening relationship though. It's just something I've sort of always thought about since I was little because it seems like that's how everything in my life happens. Sometimes I'd try to harness the power of the unexpected...theory. Like, knowing that if I imagine something it won't happen , I would imagine all sorts of horrible things happening me as a sort of insurance against bad stuff happening. I know it's weird.

Some people might say that if I always expect things to not happen like I expect, then that could be an expectation that always works. But that's not how it works, cause you can't really expect something to both happen and not happen at the same time. I mean, I can use my mad logical skills to figure out what seems to be the most likely to happen and I guess you could say something may or may not happen. But even when I do that there's always some weird other version of events that comes in out of no where and that I never would have imagined that ends up happening.

What makes things even more complicated is when you add The Wish Factor. Along with everything being unpredictable I seem to have a pretty high getting-what-I-wished-for score, which doesn't seem to make sense. But of course when ever I wish for things I realize how absurd my wish is and never expect it to come true. And when it does, it's never like anything I had imagined. It's like in those movies where someone gets a genie and they make a vuage wish and forgot to specify the details so their wish ends up sucking. although I suppose mine don't always end up sucking, they just always end up like nothing I ever would have imagined.

I'd list some examples, but this is getting to long. So, maybe later. But i suppose my point is life is random which is why I hate making plans.

currently listening to: Manu Chao


so much value

Hooray for Value Village!
I got me a pair of heavy duty steel toed leather work boots ($5) and a work shirt($3), both for welding. And some Gap jeans ($10) & a jacket ($5). Also a $2 tote bag that I'm going to redecorate. They had a bunch of them. I'm thinking of going back and getting them all so I can paint lots of bags. I don't know what I'd do with them afterwards, I only need one. Maybe sell em... but probably just give them to people.

I think Pleasantville is one of my new favorite movies. Life Aquatic was kinda awkward. Not really bad. Just... awkward.

60% done with the quarter! yay! to sleepy to keep blogging...

currently listening to: Manu Chao


load. explode.

I love KEXP . It is by far the coolest radio station ever, especially cause I can listen to it anywhere that I can get online as well, like if I'm working on stuff in the computer labs on campus. But they're really just cool cause the play so much stuff. Like the other night during the Wo-pop (world pop) show they played a Thai song! and it was actually pretty good! I don't think most people really notice how little we really hear from Thailand... but I've NEVER heard a Thai song on any radio station that wasn't in Thailand. There was lots of other cool stuff too, but the hearing the Thai song here made me so happy.

I am totally stressed about classes right now. We finally got our checks for sculpture. Now start and finish it by March 7th... *deep breath* I think it's doable if i can just get my materials by monday.

I am also totally jealous of all you art school kids and your huge apartments with ceiling to floor 11 ft windows. I have to put my chair out in the living room to make enough floor space for me to make my mess. And even then I've got about a 5x5 patch of carpet, though in a nice and useless L-shape.

I am in desperate need more space. I've been looking at studio spaces and apartments and stuff online but it seems like it'd be pretty silly for me to get one right now. plus I don't really want to move cause I like our apartment and where we are and living with these weridos and our cheap ass rent. I just really wish I had more jayne space. I'm trying to think of ways to maybe try lofting my not-made-for-lofting bed, but I wouldn't really trust my engineering skills enough to sleep on something I built that high off the ground. I don't even trust my bed where it is cause its from Ikea and I had to put it together.

ok. sleep.

currently listening to: KEXP


i heart..

I seem to be in a comics kinda kick right now..

I still love Mac Hall. because sometimes I feel like this too. And more and more lately, like this. And its just drawn so pretty.

Also, Qwantz is probably one of the few comics I like where the art isn't really amazing (She uses the same panels every day). But it's still fun.

currently listening to: Ladytron's Softcore Jukebox. (It's fabulous. It's like Ladytron made a mixtape just for me!)


3 black cats

If I were the superstitious type, I'd say running into 3 different black cats on one day was 3 times the bad luck.

Waited round for like an hour and half this morning but the guy never showed up for my welding thing.

And I didn't even get anything at the comic con. The TopShelf and Fantagraphics tables didn't really have a whole lot of stuff. Just about everything they had I could get at the comic shop down the street. There were a lot of pretty good artists though and kids going around having them do sketches in their sketchbooks for them, which was pretty neat. I didn't really know any of the artists, but if it was like Craig Thompson I would have been all over that. The guy that does Invader Zim and all that was there. And the line of Hot Topic Goths waiting for him was like the length of the room, and it was a pretty big room.

I guess I was kinda hoping there would be more... alternative kinda comics. But like 90% was just classic super hero stuff. It was pretty cool looking at all the original art by all these artists and stuff, even though most of them did stuff in that Marvel style that I'm not really into. Also made me realize how hard it would really be to get into the business though, cause there's just SO MANY comic book artists.

currently listening to: Ladytron's Softcore Jukebox


crazy feburary

omg. Feburary is going to be a crazy ass month. Our prof wants us to finish the banner sculptures by the end of the month, and we haven't even started building them yet cause we haven't gotten the money yet. I'm a little worried, especially since the first week of it is almost over and it's a short month. uhg. Also, CSE midterm next week and 3 posters for design due in 2 weeks.

And still I would like to do this poster thing cause doing an illustrative poster is really more my kind of thing than any of the other stuff I'm suppose to be doing this month. Not that I'd get the commission or that I'd have time to do it. It would just be really fun. And also kinda funny cause the contact for that is one of the people on our advisory committee for the banner projects. She'd probably tell me to just focus on the banner. But the commission for the poster is also like twice as much as the banner stuff. And last year's poster was lame. It was like some doofy mermaid thing. Mermaids have nothing to do with the u-district street fair. I suppose I should at least try. The worst can do is not give me more things to worry about.

Went to a TIG welding demo for aluminum today, even though I'm doing mine in steel. I always though welding was done with a big ass flame kinda like saudering, but it's not! it's just like electric currents! That science shit is so crazy. Afterwards we all tried it out. I suck. But supposedly steel is like tons easier and i get to learn that tomorrow. Unfortunately the big steel supplier is like a half an hour drive from Seattle, up in Everett, and I have no car. Perhaps my brother would be kind enough to take me.. next weekend? I kinda hate how my entire week is pretty much useless because I'm not home till like 6 every day. No time to get anything done.

Also, Emerald City Comic Con is this weekend. I don't really read very many comics*, but I really like some of them. I just think it'd be kinda interesting to go cause I've never been to something that dorky before. I mean, the zine convention was just this little thing and it was fantastic. So my bro and I are going to try and make it down there tomorrow or Sunday.

Keeping busy will probably be a good thing. It'll keep my mind off the whole loveless aspect of my Feb...

well.. that was rambly. time to program. whee!

* I really hate superhero comics and shit like that, but I love the non cheezy stuff. especially when it's drawn really well.

currently listening to: interpol



Haha... Whee!


so I sucessfully got through all of January with the sketchbook diary thing. But I still don't know what I wanna do with it yet and if I want to keep it up for feb. I sort of think i should cause it keeps me sane or something. Something about just making stuff non school related that helps me relax. or maybe try something else this month? dunno. It would be interesting to do it for the whole year. that'd be a lot of comics.



nervous wreck

well, we did it! I fucked it up a bit and I was a trembling puddle of chai when I was up there, but I told everyone it was my first time really playing in front of other people so I think I'll be forgiven. It was kinda fun though. But next time I want other people up there with me. Or I should at least practice more than a day in advance. Peter and I are supposedly going to do the David Duchovny song sometime. and all three of us perhaps the Bulbous Boufont thing, which would be so fabulous.

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