the 04-40

Because I have nothing terribly important to do, year end survey time! (swiped from this fine fellow.)

But it's kinda long, so i moved it here if you're bored or curious.

I wish i knew how to do that thing where only snippets of new entries appeared on the main page so there a "read more" type link to the full thing so my main page wasn't so long.

and I actually have plans for new years eve! not that it really matters cause nye is really just like any other day, except they do that ball dropping thing and show lots of marathons and best-of-specials on tv. But i just don't like to start off a new year sulking in my room. I shall have to put togehter my resolutions tomorrow. I have a feeling they won't be too much different than last year... but whatever.


Originally uploaded by zephyrbunny.
The flickr pro account just kicked in today. So today is also the start of what will hopefully be a very picture filled 2 years. I'm gonna try and blog a photo a day or something. Once the new year starts I also wanna try doing a comic/doodle a day type thing too... I probably won't be able to keep either of them up, but I can at least try. This here's one of the customized envelopes! I'm pretty happy with it. I can't believe tomorrow's already new years eve. It doesn't seem like a whole year since in old STL partying it up with the girlies. And school on monday already. erg.


top 20 of 2004

These are the songs I discovered then overdoesd on this year, down to one per artist, cause there are too many good songs on each of these albums. There are also lots of albums that were overall wonderful, but didn't have one super contageous song. It's kinda hard putting together a best of the year compilation cause I get confused about what was actually this year and last year cause the school year straddles both 03 and 04. So yeah, some of these are actually from the tail end of 03 as well..

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger - Daft Punk: Best song to dance like an idiot to.
Let Go - Frou Frou: Playcount, 50 in one night.
Float On - Modest Mouse: This song makes me feel better when I'm sad.
Sundance Kid - Kent: The whole album kicks ass. but this one is fab.
Brand new colony - Postal Service, The: To be played at my wedding.
Somebody Told Me - The Killers: Head-bobbing-while-walking-on-campus-with-iPod good.
Electronic Renaissance - Belle & Sebastian: I heart B&S, but this song seems out of place on Tigermilk.
Liquid Bird - The Beta Band: fabulous. just. fabulous.
The Dark Of The Matinée - Franz Ferdinand: Hard to pick my fav. FF song... Maybe This Fire is better?
Barrel of a gun - Guster: Best use of bongos ever.
Sugar On My Tongue - Talking Heads: Made me re-love the talking heads.
How to fight loneliness - Wilco: Theme song to my summer.
Spitting Games - Snow Patrol: Fills my heart with happy.
Shadows of Ourselves - Thievery Corporation: Good chill music.
Afternoon Speaker - Sea and Cake, The: Instant happiness.
The Electric Version - New Pornographers, The: and/or Mass Romantic. Not sure.
Maintain - Steve Burns: So Flaming Lips like... But so good.
One Dimention - Simian: Video by Geoff McFetridge too.
Zak And Sara - Ben Folds: Yay for clappy beats.
Superstar - Tegan and Sara: The newest addition. But definately top 20 worthy.

If anyone wants this mix, just let me know. More than happy to spread the love.



I've got a full tummy and feeling rambly. Tegan and Sara is good, at least the "this business of art" album. The song "superstar" rocks my socks. I think if I had to trade in my art skills for something it'd be music making skills. Next quarter I wanna learn to use the Digital Audio Workstation thing. Uhg.. so full. My parents came by to bring me food, take me out shopping, and cook dinner. They spoil me so bad. It seems kinda weird to have both my parents retired so they've got all this free time that they can just hang around with me all day. They say I should have gone home for break. I know they're my parents, but sometimes it's hard to understand why people want to spend any significant amount of time with me. I mean, not to be all self-hating or anything. It's just that me being at the house isn't exactly super bonding time or anything. During the summer my dad spent most of the time outside. and over the weekend he spent most of it watching TV. And when they came over tonight he just turned on the tv.

The whole TV free break pretty much failed. I mean, on my own I haven't watched any. But whenever someone comes over they always want to turn it on, and I'm not going to be all militant about it or anything so I'll turn it on for them. It's just interesting though how much "socializing" apparently involves looking at a screen and not each other. It really makes me wonder what people did before TV and computers and stuff. Is it really that hard to keep ourselves amused on our own? Or is the idea of occasional silence just too much to bear? I mean, I know I'm guilty of that too. I've almost always got music going in the background. I dunno. I wish I had more people to make stuff with.

But it was probably kind of good to watch some news tonight, just cause I hadn't actually heard or seen a whole lot about The Big Tsunami on Sunday. I mean, I heard that it was huge and really hit southern thailand and sri lanka, but I guess it didn't really occur to me just how much damage it really did. It also makes me feel really guilty about buying that 2 year flickr pro sunday. I know the two aren't related at all, but it just seems wrong that I'd spend so much money on something as trivial as online photo sharing while some people across the ocean are struggling to find clean water and to bury the dead fast enough to stave off disease.

I really do spend too much money on useless shit, although after looking at everything it seems I've managed to save up a good deal this quarter. I have no idea how that happened. I thought I was just like breaking even every month or something. It's really weird.


cyber love

new blue scarf
i just signed on for 2 years of flickr pro. it's kinda expensive, at least I think so, but I really do love them so very much. and they just keep getting more and more awesome so I really wanna support them. This means I will also have to take lots of pictures so i dont feel like I'm wasting money...(like that time I got a gold membership for diaryland my last month there...) and maybe in the process I'll learn to take better pictures.

I also just bought myself a brown blogger-T because i really do love blogger that much. plus it was cheap...I mean $10.50 (and no tax or shipping!) for a fabulously soft and fitted Standard American (from American Apparel) T-shirt? How could I not? I'm still sad that they don't have anymore hoodies that would fit me though...

now i have mail to look forward to!



Also, I went to the Thai temple with my parents today, pretty much just cause they like when I do and I had nothing better to do. But I think the more I go the more I realize how little it all means too me. Like I can do the chants cause I've done them so many times, but I never really knew what I was saying cause it's all Sanskrit. But today they did this weird thing where after each line they did it in Thai, (which really messed me up. I can't do things in bits and pieces when I've got it down as a straight shot.) and the little booklet in front of me had English translations.

And after reading it all it really makes me wonder why people bother. It just seems really really silly to me. It's not like they're prayrs to anyone cause there's no gods in Buddhism. The Buddha's just... a guy. More like a philosopher than anything. And the chanting is basicly just saying stuff like: "The Buddha was enlightened. All hunger/desire causes suffering. Unattachment and indifference is the way to end suffering." Obviously not exactly like that, but that's the gist of it. At least the stuff they did today. And I dunno, I guess I just don't see the point of chanting things. Maybe it's like the idea that if you tell yourself something enough you'll believe it. And I don't get the hands together and bowing stuff either.

I don't mind the lecture/sermon type things afterwards cause at least then the monks are just speaking in Thai and stuff (there's also an American monk there that does lecture type stuff in the next room for then non-Thai, of which there are actually quite a few). That's at least somewhat interesting, and more useful than chanting things I don't understand. I mean, I don't really have a problem with Buddhism on the philosophical level, cause i think it's a lot of good ideas for the most part.

I guess I do have personal issues with certain aspects of it... Mainly the whole idea of just spending your whole life avoiding attachment, desire and extremes to avoid suffering. I mean, I kinda think I avoid attachment unconsiously, but I'm not sure how well that's working out for me. Part of me feels like that's the main source of most of my issues. But the other part feels like that's what keeps me sane. I do like the whole notion of continual change being good though, cause it makes being fickle seem justified.

I also like that after all the stuff there's just a big free for all potluck/buffet table full of homemade Thai food.


Alright...i think this is just about all the new music aquired in the past few days, mostly from mon frère:

White Stripes. Black Box Recorder. Thievery Corporation. Nirvana. Midwest Product. Interpol. Delgados. Air. Eels. Mountain Goats. Pavement. Iron & Wine. !!!. Filix Da Housecat. Aphex Twin. Tegan and Sara. Scott Walker. Pizzicato Five. Marc Bolan & T.Rex. The Field Mice. Puffy AmiYumi. Synchronized Rockers. Spiritualized. Kruder & Dorfmeister. The Futureheads. Squarepusher. Bob Hund. 22-Pistepirkko.Boards of Canada.Tosca. Pop will eat itself.

I think I only know about half of them, so im not sure how much is good. But yeah, I think I've got enough new music to hold me over for quite some time... apparently its at least... 5 gigs of music.... yeah. probably too much.


holiday booty

The final loot list:

dinosaurs, farm animals, art supplies, "Frank", knee socks, fleece gloves, starbucks giftcard, iTunes music store giftcard, footstool, cheesy asian popstars, "Amzing Rain" (ExplodingDog), a blue/black seuss-like scarf, underoos, and long muppet-like gloves. (The muppet gloves are simply fabulous. they're not like hand puppets or anything, they just make me feel like a muppet.)

And since it's suppose to be the time to share and all, my bro and I swapped a bunch of stuff. got me a copy of Quicken (because I'm a nerd like that), Painter 9, and lots and lots and lots of music, which is good cause I'm starting to get bored of mine. I have no idea what i even got... He's just like "that bands good"...and i go "okay" *click. drag* repeat several times. I love new music. I know there's some Delgados, Interpol, Thievery Corporation, and.. other stuff. I'll make a list of it all when i get home... mainly so i remember what's new cause sometimes i forget and end up not listening to stuff.. Painter 9 will be especially cool once i get the wacom tablet. My mom gave me cash for half of it so i'll just pay for the other half, which isn't too bad.

My parents bought a camcorder for themselves too, rather spontaniously. The last one they bought was in the 80's and it's like.. the size of a.. large shoe box or something. I've been telling them to get a new one for years. but they were always like "no, why should we geta new one? everyone's grown up and there's nothing to record any more." so i was all suprised when my dad had us look for and order one online last night. It's cute, little, and simple cause they don't really need anything too fancy.

and the jayne-cooked meal went pretty well: fancy-ass spring mix salad, salmon, broccoli, rice, and apple strudel & icecream. good stuff.


slug humbug

Last night I dreamed that our apartment was full of these big black slugs that could go through the walls and the floor so they showed up all over the place. So we tried to trap them and keep them in Peter's room. It was really really gross. When I woke up I had the heebie-jeebies and I was afraid to step off my bed.

tis now Christmas eve and I'm going to try cooking salmon for my parents. I'm probably going to fuck it all up even though it's super easy. I bought some gifts just cause I needed an excuse to waste money. Is it weird that I feel so guilty when I go shopping? For some reason shopping makes me feel like a really bad person. Maybe I've just been trained that way.

Christmas doesn't really mean anything to me. I know I wont be getting anything interesting this year, so I'm not all like stoked about it or anything. It's been a long time since I've actually been excited for Christmas.

I think I'm leaving my computer here for the weekend cause I don't really need it, though the external harddrive is going home with me so my bro and i can swap stuff. Oh my lappy, how I'll miss you. I'm tired of writing these letters to people...



Rock on! I made the first VCD cut! So now the schedule looks like this for next quarter:

DINOSAURS: TTh 1230- 120
COMPUTER PRGRMNG I: MWF  930-1020 Th 130- 220
and work will fill in most of the time in between i think.

I'm kinda worried that I have too many work-heavy classes next quarter... I mean, I'm obviously going to work my ass off in design, the sculpture class is lots of studio time down at the cma, and compy is supposedly homework heavy. and it requires my quantitive and symbolic reasoning skills... which i don't really have. I guess i won't have time to take that hip-hop dance class next quarter.

I can't wait to see who else from my class made it! I think I have a pretty good idea... man. next quarter I'm going to be such a nervous wreck though, cause it's the final round. I have a feeling i'm not gonna have much of a social life at all next quarter... but that's okay. I think I can handle being focused for the one quarter that pretty much determines..like...everything that happens next.

Also, at the used bookstore today I found an old University of Washington yearbook from 1956! It was just too awesome to not get... pages and pages of just great 1950's pictures. Funny hair. Big glasses. Sweaters and Skirts. Good stuff. I don't know what I'm going to use it for yet, but I'm sure I'll figure out something.



Winter break blogging is pretty silly cause i'm extra rambly about stupid stuff, but winter break was also when i started doing the whole online journal thing 3 years ago. Everyone was out of town and I had nothing better to do.... back in 2001 on lil ol diaryland. (im so glad im on blogger now) So I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that it's just what i do. I just feel type-y cause my hand is all cramped up from writing letters. Apparently my writing muscles are out of shape or something because I've only gotten through 2 letters and I'm all tired. I think next year I'm just going to type them... or at least write it and copy it. i know it's not as personal, but it would have been much easier..

Hung out with enzo today. He sang various choir (and Queen) songs and we played card games, twas fun. I miss playing card-games-that-aren't-poker*, like speed. Speed is fun. I also miss the days when I'd play el president/asshole and spades in Kirby's ac-lab with everyone. I don't even really remember how to play those anymore.. nor do i know anyone round here who does... but I really ought to re learn them... and find people to play with. That'd be nice, just a night of pizza and cards.

I know it's a bit early to be thinking of new years resolutions seing as how it's a good 10 days till the new year, but I figure it'd be better to be ready by then. Plus my resolutions are always pretty similar anyways. One of them is always meet more people. I suppose I've done a fairly good job with that this year. I've met tons of new people. But I guess I should be more specific and actually befriend them too... to ya know, widen my social circle or something. More specificly it'd be nice to befriend at least one or two other people that live in our building and/or apartment complex. It seems silly to not know anyone that lives under the same roof as me. Plus it'd easier to hang out with people that live nearby. Most of the people I've befriended this year commute pretty far to get to school.

Also, grades are up.... Ended up doing pretty well... design history:3.6 design foundations:3.5 soc. of sex:3.5... so pretty much A-'s throughout. I have no idea how i did so well in sex.. for some reason it just seems wrong that I ended up with the same grade in sex as i did in my design class, considering i put in like 100x more work and effort in the latter. 3.5 in design is also a little worry some just cause I know that the letter grade isn't nessicarily a guarantee of not getting cut, and it's the lowest A possible.... so I'm hoping there's just a large clumping of us at or below that.. and very few above.. I obviously still havent gotten the letter yet.

*I'm so terrible at poker. Probably because I think it's a stupid game and refuse to play for money cause I know I'm going to lose, so there's really no incentive. Everyone hates playing with me anyways... *sad face*

marching band groupie

I love marching bands. Actually, my favorite part is the drumline. It's kinda sad how the only reason I want to go to a football game is so i can listen to the band play. I sort of wish that I wasn't lazy and I stuck to it when I was younger, but then again I would have been part of the band cult and would have had to wake up at an ungodly hour to march around. And I'd have to go to football games... anyways, my love for marching bands was just rekindled when i found this, the UMASS band doing a cover of "Paranoid Android" by Radiohead. It's cool.


non-anal love

I love being able to make stuff without having to worry about being all anal. All quarter I had to watch my craft and measure things and make sure things were even and all that crap. It feels so good to just make stuff and just not worry about it. I miss the look of hand drawn lines and photocopies. I love living down the street from Kinkos and the art supply store. I made some.. stationary.. i guess i can call it that. I'm not totally sure what I'm planning on doing with all of it... but i suppose i should start writing my letters to people if i want them to get it before new years... I have a feeling my hermit period is going to make me very bloggy... oh well, i suppose there are worse things that could happen.

oh! and time for my semi-anual haiku: sharp stainless steel poke/ polish like rasberry sand/ a new brush in hand

afterwards, i got my hair cut even though i wasn't really planning on doin it today. i was sorta trying to grow it out, but i failed... It was driving me crazy. it just feels so much cleaner and better short. I think it looks better too, even if it does make me look more boyish.


..of creativity.

So, the flat mates (and most of the others round here) have left for break, thus officially starting the two weeks of totally uninhibited jayne time. 2 weeks of supersaturated creative potential. No school. No work. No responsibilities. No worries. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get such pure time like that?

Everyone keeps asking me, "what are you going to DO for two weeks all by yourself?" Anything I want to? I honestly don't really know... but I know I'm sure as hell not wasting it by watching television* or playing video games. I think I had my fill of that this weekend (and this whole quarter really), so I unplugged it all. sure I could always just plug it back in, but that's more work than I'd be willing to do for it anyways. I mean, on my own i don't really watch that much anyways so it's not really a problem. It's just going to be a little odd, cause i dont thing it's ever gone a day with out being turned on all quarter.

I'm still trying to decide about unplugging the internet... it's got a pretty strong grip on my sad little life even though 80% of the time is just spent checking email or blogging. the other 20% is spent reading profiles, blogs, ads... I'm not even on AIM that much these days, part of the whole hermit thing i guess.

I'm also debating whether or not to just do a straight up media free thing again. I did one earlier this year for a class and it was kinda interesting. 2 weeks of no tv, movies, magazines, books, and music (which was the only one that REALLY killed me). I'd be interested to see what it'd be like without having the stress of school and everything.

I'm gonna try to spend the next two weeks just making as much stuff as possible and enjoying myself. All those things I've been wanting to do all year, I'm going to try fitting into the next two weeks. No excuses. I guess this is another one of my personal tune-up projects or something, which is kinda exciting. They're always good for me.

*"Renegades with fancy gauges/Slay the plague for it’s contagious/Pull the plug and take the stages/Throw away your television now/Throw away your television/Take the noose off your ambition/Reinvent your intuition now/It’s a repeat of a story told/It’s a repeat and it’s getting old" -RHCP


je ne sais pas

we had some people over for dinner + cranium last night. good stuff. we should have more board games though. when i was younger i always hated charades type games cause i couldn't get up in front of people. but ya know, i actually kinda enjoy the green (star preformer) cranium cards. they're silly.

it doesn't feel like the quarter's over. i keep wanting to be like "i should go work on stuff" but i dont have anything to do. it's weird and i don't know what to do with myself...

i sort of wish i was going back to old STL for break. I want to friend hop and go out and stay in and party and dance and just be wierd. but at the same time i'd be afraid of going back cause i'm afraid it'd be too awkward for me to handle. i would just implode..or something. i don't know why i'm so afraid of and disconnected to people from my past. it's really pretty strange when i think about it because i know i have no reason to be.

its strange looking back at last year, around this time....according to the old diarlyand site, I was wanting to do IVA instead of VCD. I was losing sleep because i thought peter didn't want to be my friend any more. I was looking forward to going to STL for some lovin. I was knitting. I was looking forward to a new start and big change. But now: I obviously want to do VCD, I'm living with peter, STL would be lovin-less for me, I haven't knit since then, and for the first time (maybe not the first time. but at least the first in a long time) i'm not actually craving The New Begining, which is really strange for me.

I mean, I totally welcome it but it's not like "OMG I NEED CHANGE NOW" which is sort of how it's been for most my life. I'm hoping I see some of the same kids in my classes next quarter, I'm looking forward to going back to my same job (which I actually want to keep till I graduate, unless i get like a "real" job or something first, but that's doubtful.)

I can't decide if it's good or bad. It's kinda nice to not feel like i NEED it, so i guess it's a nice content feeling. But I'm also TERRIBLY afraid of just becoming like a boring and repetative zombie, driven by habit and laziness instead of desire and lust for life (which is such a good song). of course maybe it's a temporary feeling and by next week I'll be back to my new-craving ways. and i think this entry is getting too long.


5 quarters down.

...10 more to go? i think? something like that. anyways.... Horray for being offically on winter break and being done with everything for a while. Ended up doing pretty well in design history and I think the sex test went alright... and they mail out the vcd letters today, though it'll prolly be another couple days till i find out.

Riley's friend came to visit for a few days. It was kinda wierd being around a fellow gemini, cause i don't really know any around here. Overhearing her talk about certain stuff was funny cause i kept thinking to myself "omg! i'm like that too!" it was mostly just little things. maybe it's not really a gemini thing and she just happens to share a similar outlook or something. i dunno. I think the main thing was how she ends conversations at the first sign of an awkward pause or just the fear of one, which i tend to do almost all the time. Mainly out of the fear that I'm making someone uncomforable or bored. But I thought I was just crazy and part of me being socially inept or something like that. But as long as i know that someone else is like that too, it makes me feel okay, although maybe she's crazy too.

it seems like there are 3 ways to deal with awkward convos...there people like me who just end them. people who "just keep on talking till someone laughs" (which was once Kevin's advice on the art of fine conversation). and people who just aren't bothered by them at all. maybe there are more.. but i can't think of them. it seems like most people i know can fit into one of them. I suppose they don't actually bother me when I'm around people I'm already comfortable with, but it's gotta be a pretty high level of comfort for it to not bother me....


up up up

Well, I finally put up a little portfolio type page (http://students.washington.edu/jaynev/) . I'm actually kinda suprised how quickly I was able to throw it together. I started it yesterday, worked on it off and on and it's pretty much done today. There are a few little kinks, like how the font changes to a serif in IE, but for the most part I'm happy with it. Of course, it helps that it's like super simple, but I actually think it's one of my favorite ones that I've done so far just cause its so simple. I don't have much on there though. I really need to do some more drawing. I haven't made a whole lot of stuff that I really like lately. Its weird how short my crossover time is. Like, I'll do something and be pretty happy with it. But if i look at it a week later I don't like it any more.

I also really need to do some more traditional stuff. Everything on there right now is digital which is fine cause i like that sorta thing, but i feel like I'm relying on illustrator too much lately and it makes things too easy or something. Plus i actually really like how scruffy hand drawn things look too. I need a way to blend the two together... I dunno. I also think i need to take another figure drawing class next year. It's kinda sad that after a year of being here I don't really have much of a traditional portfolio. The big National Portfolio Day in Seattle is next month, I thought it might be interesting to go, but I don't really have anything to show them.

Also, we went and saw Kinsey last night, which was really good. It's kinda interesting getting a different sort of side of him when all we really talked about in school was how he was an early sex researcher who developed the Kinsey scale. And then later on last night peter & riley stumbled across a public access channel that just had a weird scruffy guy talking about pot, Bush-bashing, and showing porn (while playing messages from his answering machine over it*). It was just really really wierd. I mean, if tv censors freak out about a boob popping out, I don't know how this guy managed to get an entire slot of airtime to show porn on the public access channel. is it really that easy to get on public tv? it wasn't even that late, maybe like 1 am or so. We just thought it was pretty damn funny.

*there was an email and a phone number at the bottom so you could contact the guy. the messages were pretty varied. a lot of angry mothers. some guys who enjoyed the porn but disagreed with his political statements, and lots of guys who just enjoyed it.


3 more days

got the bound folio back the other day, all fine and dandy. so i guess i was just worried for nothing. went present shopping yesterday instead of studying for today's art history final, which actually didn't go that bad. And I'm offically done with all my required art history classes! yay! Only thing left to worry about is the sex test, but I don't really care about it... It's kinda weird being so done with things and not working (till next quarter) cause I almost don't know what to do with myself. I'm getting that sort of antsy i need to be productive somehow feeling. cause right now i'm just filling the time with food and snacking away the day which can't really be all that healthy for me. I'm just feeling constantly hungry. Maybe it's not an actual food hungry, but more of an activity hungry, but snacking is the easiest way to pass time. it's a good thing we're pretty low on food here anyways.

and then we watched Oceans 12. not quite as impressive as 11, but still fun.

recent addiction: myspace.com and thefacebook.com. it's pretty silly. It's weird seeing college pics of people from my old highschool. all decked out, beer in hand and looking all collegey.

um. yeah. gonna go have some little oranges now.



I thought I'd be all like planning ahead and being responsible by finishing the portfolio and getting it bound today, but apparently the earliest they can guarantee it by is 8 am on wednesday. it's due wednesday by noon, at the latest. i realize that's a good 4 hour window there, but that cut off time of noon is just a little too close for comfort. Especially since I don't really trust kinkos all that much... i'd like at least a day just to make sure i can do something if they fuck up. It might be partially due to the caffeine* flowing through me, but now I'm all super super worried. Handing over my portfolio to the girl felt like handing over my first born or something. I seriously don't get nervous about stuff very easily but this.. this one damn portfolio determines so much. and they're really really strict about it being in by noon. they won't even take it if it's a few minutes late. I swear, if they fuck this up i'm going to cry so bad. i mean, the cut im not even all that worried about, because if i don't get in it's my own fault cause i suck. but if it's due to some technical difficulties, im going to be so fucking pissed. I asked her if a lot of kids had brought theirs in already or something. She said only about 4 or 5, but there's just a lot of jobs in general around the holidays. It suprised me that only 4 or 5 have brought it in though, considering there are like 150 kids in the class. I mean, there are a few other places to get things bound, but.. i'm just glad i'm done with mine.... but i'm still a nervous wreck right now.

*I like coffee drinks and stuff, my body doesn't. It probably has something to do with the fact that i dont drink much caffeine. I rarely even drink any soda any more. so i guess my body is just like "OMG! WTF, MATE?!" i can feel my self being all shakey and stuff. Maybe it also has to do with the solo kidney cause it has to work extra hard to filter it out... my body isn't happy with me eating meat either. I really should just stop drinking coffee and stick to the chai. i mean, its still caffeinated, but it doesn't make me sick. and i think i'll start off the new year veg again. I don't like the feeling of making my body angry, cause it's sort of what keeps me alive and all. plus when i don't feel well i just want to lay still, so it's pretty counter productive.

get together

We had some people over last night, which is kinda rare for us. Riley made her halibut and stuff and our old RA from last year bought wine. I don't really drink a whole lot, but i'm always into trying new stuff so i had a little. it just made me hot, sleepy, and cuddly. It was funny being with our old RA outside of his RA duties, cause there's this whole other side of him. I'm sure it helps that he was farily inebreated.

other than that, been working on putting together my submission portfolio. it feels so weird to be done with it all. in another week or so i'll officially find out if i suck.

and satanism in pokemon? you gotta be kidding me.


Deck the Hall

The holiday potluck thing at work was so fabulous. So much good food. I pretty much just ate the whole time I was there. It also reminded me how much i love those little oranges. I always called them clementines back home, but here they seem to be satsumas? either way, the little oranges... i love little oranges, espeically without seeds... cause you know, i can't possibly be bothered with seeds when eating fruit... also a small feather*, one of the advertisers sent us a really nice email about how much he loved an ad i worked on. it wasn't particularly fabulous, but it makes me happy that he liked it anyways. dunno. just little things that make me happy.

Then the Deck the Hall Ball with Snow Patrol, Keane, The Shins, The Killers, Franz Ferdinanz, and Modest Mouse and a few thousand other people. It was so damn packed down on the floor, and the seats were pretty much filled to the top too, which makes sense since it was such a fabulous lineup. I'm not sure if it's cause it was in such a big place or if the audio was just fucky but a lot of the bands sounded really weird to me. Like, I saw The Shins at the Showbox earlier this year, and it was really awesome but last night they sounded really off. And Modest Mouse played my favorite song (of theirs) about two songs in and it sounded so weird that i didn't really wanna hear the rest, so we left after it. The Killers and Franz Ferdinanz were really good though. And by then we had moved more towards the back so there was more room to move around and dance and stuff.

We started off pretty close to the front but people were just being too obnoxious and making me all nervous like. Nervous cause we got packed in as people started shoving around between the sets. there wasn't even any music going and people were smashing into each other. I usually don't really mind being that close to people, espeically at concerts where 80% of the people there are really cute, so being pressed up against them doesn't particualrly bother me.. But it was a combination of the non-music mashing and the fact that we were surrounded by highschoolers. Not that I'm like "iew highschoolers" it's just that the whole time Snow Patrol was on the girls behind us were like "OH MY GAWD!!! HE'S SO CUTE!!!! LOOK AT HIM!! HE IS!!!! WE SHOULD SCREAM!!! I'LL SCREAM WITH YOU!!! COMEON!!! *SHRIEK* HE'S SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" every couple minutes or so, while trying to work their way infront of us. Being a little futher back was nice cause group seemed older (judging by the height of the guys, which is the only way i can really tell, aside from the fact that they're not being totally obnoxious.) and there was room to breathe and all.

I think I'm all concerted out for a while though. Maybe I'm just getting too old (at my ripe age of 19) for it, but standing around for 6 straight hours and singing my lungs out is exhausting.

*in highschool, after reading catch-22, I use to organize my highs and lows of the day into feathers and black-eyes. I miss doing that.



(I really like that word)

Twas the last day of 166 critique today. Hopefully I'll be seeing some of those kids next quarter, as I've grown fond of them. Tommorrow's the last real day of class. On Friday 2/3 of my classes are cancelled and sex section doesn't really count. I'll probably stop by to pick up my last test since I'll be on campus to pick up my paycheck anyways..

Tommorrow's the holiday potluck lunch at work, which is kinda cool just cause I don't think I've ever really had a holiday thing at work. I'm bringing peanut butter cookies i made (from scratch, yo). Then taking the second half of the day off to get down to the Deck The Hall Ball (and maybe run into my manager there). Tomorrow's also the last day of work for a while, since we get finals + holidays off.

And today my SW cover came out! yay! The printing is kinda off and shitty but I think that's a combination of something I did and the fact that newspapers print shitty. But yeah, still cool anyways.

um. yeah. this entry was really just an excuse to use the world penultimate.


first comes music then comes marriage

(Then comes Mr. Darcy in an 18th century carriage? I dunno.)

I had these weird dreams a while back. In one of them my old beau flew into town to marry me out of the blue then flew back to his girlfriend after we got hitched. In a different dream I found out I was pregnant and I was really confused (and pretty angry) cause I haven't slept with any one. Apparently I was like the new virgin mary or something. It's just really odd cause I've never ever dreamed about that kind of stuff. I mean, I've had dreams where I like make out with people and stuff but never like settling down or anything. I'm obvioulsy much too young to worry about that sorta thing.

But I know some girls who have like their ideal wedding ring and dress and all that jazz planned out already, even though they're single. I think the most I've ever really thought about is the music and how I could so DJ my own wedding party. I could just pull out the iPod (which will probably be like 10000 GB by then) and plug it in. That way you could avoid the inevitablly awful Rent-a-DJ that plays nothing but crap. And then I'd give out mixed cds as party favors, or what ever they're called. The only song on my "must-include" list so far would be The Postal Service's "Brand New Colony". And how instead of having a ceremony and reception type deal I'd just want a buffet with a dance party. I don't know why people even bother with ceremonies.

Not that I'm planning to get hitched any time soon or anything. There's just not much else goin on right now to rant about (other than procrastination) and people around me have just been talking about that kinda stuff a lot lately. Like being domesticated and everything and how now girls delay it cause they can go to college and how one of the girls at work broke up with her beau cause he wanted to get married already. (Smart girl)

I just don't see the appeal of domesticity, at least not now. I guess it has a lot to do with my mother's mantra of not getting tied down till you've done everything you've wanted to do and all. It just seems like The Big End All. I mean, i know it isn't really like that. Like it's suppose to be like the begining of something else and all.

But i dunno, i guess i feel like i'm getting old too fast. next year i'm going to be 20. With an expected lifespan of about 80, that's like 1/4 of my life already gone! And say I do ever get hitched, it would probably be at the most 15 years from now (my mom was 35) cause for some reason getting around to it in your 40's (when half your life is up) seems weird.

So i've decided to start living like I only have 15 years left, which isn't much at all. Especially since 1/3 of that's probably school (at least 2 more under, maybe a postbac?, 2 years grad school?). So really it's more like 5-10 years of total independence. That's it (unless I become a spinster). That doesn't seem like nearly enough time to do much at all. A year or two goes by super fast.

But ya know, a working with a 15 year time limit might be really good for me. Deadlines help me get things done and they're the only thing that can keep me focused.... man. now i want to go compile another life to-do list.

Also, The new Delgado's album, Universal Audio, is really good.


discombobulated rambles

Peter got this silly video game. I think it's called Burnout or Takeout or something along those lines. And basicly all you do is takeout other cars and crash into things. I thought it was the stupidest game ever. But then I started playing. Crashing into things is way more fun than it should be.

Stayed up late. Slept in. Didn't go to office hours, assuming there would be a lot of people. Got frustrated with the final project. (I think I'm done with it. not like cause it's all good and im done, but just like I'm done working on it. we've been doing these things for so damn long. It's pushing my attention span.) Danced to KLF (Dr. Who. HEY. Dr. Who.). Designed ads. Crashed cars.

An overall terribly unproductive day for jayne.

Also finally got back my flipbook and a copy of the DVD from the flipbook contest thing this summer. Makes me wanna make another one... but maybe I should wait till after schools out to start another tedious and time consuming project.

geez. this is the last week of the quarter. (+finals next week) My life is going by way too fast right now.


lazy weekend

Mmmm... Sunday brunch at Salty's. So incredibly full. And so good. It's also kinda strange cause a lot of my family was there, and I haven't seen a lot of my family in a while.. 3 aunts, an uncle, a cousin, plus parents and the bro. which is actually a very very small fraction of the extended family.

Saturday was just a sluggish stay home day, although horray for more work from Seattle weekly! Just a couple spot illos for the food guide, but still very cool.. So worked on those yesterday. Also got my first check for the iPod thing, which is cool. Makes me feel all fuzzy and professional or something.

Also did some drawing for the end-o-04 zine.. I'm determined to get this thing out. it'll probably be crappy, but I don't care. I just wanna put something out because I don't want to mail holiday cards.

and now to draw some more instead of working on my final project. smart!


happy happy chill

Ah. All done with my paper Far from the best thing I've ever written, considering how long it took to write, but whatever. And I think i did pretty poorly on the sex test, but they're done and I'm happy cause now all I've got to do is The Final Project.

I've been super happy the past couple of days, but I don't really know why. I attribute yesterday to The Sexy Shirt + matching underwear, which always makes me feel good, even though the shirt has a tendancy to unbutton itself..although I suppose that just makes it all the more sexy?

ok.. too many IM windows open. this is why i dont sign on very often. i get too distracted and confused.


compy vs compy

hmm.... I just found this kinda interesting upper level class that's actually got a couple of spots open. Probably because it's sort of one of those hidden classes where you have to fill out an application just to take it, which I think is dumb. You shouldn't have to apply to take a class that's got open spaces and no prereqs. But yeah. it's DXARTS 490- Special Topics, and apparently the topic next quarter is about creating 3D computer modeling and environment creation using Maya. And that sounds pretty sweet. I played with Maya a little this summer and it was pretty cool.

So I filled out an application... hopefully I can take it cause UW is kinda dumb about how they only offer the really cool secret classes sporadicly so I don't know when it'd be available again. But that also means I'll probably end up dropping my intro programming class, which kinda sucks, but I can always take it later since they're always offering it.

So... if i get that class and the next vcd I'll have a totally art-centric quarter (with the public art class too). And a schedule that was entirely different than what I had planned originally... which would be cool, even though I really do wanna take intro to communications and programming too. Stupid 18 credit cap. Of course maybe I won't get either and won't have to worry about it.

I think that's enough rambling about school for today.

compulsive december

I think I really am a needlessly compulsive blogger...oh well.. I'm feeling rambly and procrastinative

my ankle is still weird and I can make it do a strange popping thing. is that bad?

Only 2.5 more weeks....

December's really snuck up on me.. Still trying to decide about presents and stuff. Our family's not really big on christmas, my parents being buddhist and all. (We actually do more of a New Years thing I guess.) And they're extremely un-materialistic. I never know what to get for them. They don't really collect stuff cause it turns into junk and they're not like terribly obsessed with anything. I think dad's the hardest. He's not really into any sport type stuff. Doesn't care about cars or fancy shit. He doesn't really watch movies or read a whole lot. He doesn't get along with technology stuff. All he seems to do is play in dirt... well, garden. But gardening presents are boring. My mom is pretty tough too, but at least she seems to like more stuff, I guess. But I think she's more like me in that she doesn't stick to things very long. People like my bro are also hard cause he IS so obsessed with stuff in a pretty specific way. It's hard to know if he's already got something. Hell, I don't even really know what I'd want. I sort of feel bad around xmas cause it sort of feels like my parents are constantly giving me things through out the year so it doesn't seem all that fair.

I'm also trying to decide if I want to send out a holiday letter of sorts to my STL peeps. I usually think they're kinda silly but it's been so long since I've really talked to them. It wouldn't just be a lame thing on cheezy holiday stationary. Probably something cut & pastey, cause I haven't done anything like that for a while. Maybe a good excuse to make a zine? I havent worked on a new one since I've been in college, which makes me sad. But I'm not sure if that would seem overly "hey look at what I've been doing" although I guess that's not really a bad thing... I'd like to know what they're all up to too. I dunno.. maybe... although, if I do, I better get started on it pretty damn soon. Originally I had this idea where I'd do a page every month and have something to send out in december.. but I didn't really follow through with that all that well...

alright. lunch time.

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